when you're the best of friends...

(can you just hear the Fox and the Hound soundtrack playing in the background?)

captions to come... I'm being interrupted right now)

Thank you, Grandma (again)!

So excited!!! (common quote from Jackson)... plus, he's actually dancing here... something they've been doing a lot of over the past couple of months. The funny thing is, Jackson actually gets most of his "moves" from Kate. I'm not sure where she gets her "moves" from because neither Parker nor I were blessed in that department.
Whenever I get out my camera, Jackson runs to get his too. (kind of funny because it's a viewmaster... but I think it makes him feel big)
I have been meaning to get some recent pictures up here and post about how the kids got a fun Halloween/goodies package from Grandma (which they BOTH L-O-V-E-D!). But, I'm running out of time trying to get myself organized to leave on another trip (spouse-less) for a week to visit Grandparents. We'll complete our Northwest tour just in time to get back for General Conference.
Hopefully, after I'm caught back up on laundry, I will get caught up on the blog. Poor Kate turned 1 last month and STILL doesn't have one-year old pictures. Uhh! I need to get that done. Anyway, I'll post when I get home. Wish me luck!
Thank you Grandma!

I wanted to share...

There were two women who were asked to share their own stories of "sweet assurance" during the Time Out For Women conference. Both were moving, but this Sister from Sweet, Idaho has dealt with some pretty amazing things and come out SO strong! I was amazed as she stood in front of more than 1,000 of us women and didn't choke up once as she bravely read her totally inspirational story. I, on the other hand, was having a hard time controlling my tears, especially as they projected family photos of Emily with her husband and 4 daughters and then the picture that is shown below. I hope that I can remember her courage especially during my own difficulties and know that Heavenly Father loves me no matter what.

A Sweet Assurance of Life

September 14, 2009

By Emily Coburn | Sweet, ID - Shared at the Boise TOFW

I have sweet assurance because I know I have a purpose. Heavenly Father wants me to receive eternal happiness. He loves me enough to allow me to face trails and challenges that are especially designed for me to grow spiritually and fulfill my divine purpose.

One beautiful Saturday morning in May of 2008, my husband and 3 of our 4 daughters were headed to our local cemetery for a community clean-up. Little did we know that a week later 3 of them would be laid to rest in that same cemetery. Less than a mile from my home, an oncoming loose trailer collided with my husband’s truck and he was forced off the road and down into a creek swollen from winter runoff. My husband and two of my daughters, one 8 and one 4 years old did not survive. My 6 year old daughter did survive even after being submerged under water for approx 40 minutes. According to doctors, she should not be here. But she is, and it was through the tender mercy of our loving Heavenly Father. Looking at her gives me hope and reassures me that the Lord is in control of all things. He knows me personally and what it will take to make me better, stronger, and more faithful as I strive to return to Him.

My daughter, Taylor, spent a month in the hospital, struggling to recover from her near drowning. While I was with her, I asked her doctor about a lump that I found in my neck. The next day I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a form of cancer. When I heard the word cancer just two weeks after losing half of my family, a rush of thoughts ran through my head. Instantly, I thought this was good news! I would get to die and be with my husband and girls. Then, in the next split second I realized, “Wait, I can’t die, I have two little girls depending on me.” At that moment I panicked wondering how I was going to deal with all of this alone. I left my radiologists office full of fear and doubt and went back to Taylor’s hospital room. As I walked into her room and saw her lying in her bed, a calming sense of peace came over me as I considered the Miracle I had witnessed in her. In those few moments I realized that I am not alone. My family is with me always and the Lord is with me. Once I realized this, I was filled with determination and strength and my final thought was “Bring it on!”

Although I was experiencing great trial and sorrow, He did not leave me alone to endure the unimaginable pain that I was filled with. I had a choice to make. I could be bitter and angry, or become better and sanctified. Through the grace of our loving Savior and Heavenly Father I choose correctly. No matter what the trial is, I know He is there. I have learned so many priceless lessons from the challenges I have been blessed with. I am far stronger and more resilient than I ever thought I could be. I have learned to let go of the attempt to control my life and accept what the Lord wants me to do. When I let go of anger or blame, I can see the love of the Savior in my life and it lifts me up. It is then that I recognize the many tender mercies He continues to bless me with.

Ultimately, I know that all of this has a sweet purpose. It is my job to find that purpose and fulfill my mission here in this life. I want to turn the tragedy into triumph. I want my children to look at my life and be proud of what I have become and accomplished. It gives me hope and the strength to endure to think that my life has meaning and that through my trials I might be able to help others. I find peace in knowing that “Sunday will come” and that I will again be reunited with my family. After all, isn’t that our ultimate purpose? Life is Sweet. Each of us has a sweet purpose. Through our faith we can fulfill that purpose… no matter what!

journal post: taking time for me

I have never been to Time Out For Women, but have had intentions (or at least desires) to go over the past few years. However, something always came up... as it always seems to when it comes to doing something just for me. I always seem to create some really great reason as to WHY I can't rationalize taking time for me. The reasons I verbalize are time and/or money. These are valid reasons for skipping out and staying at home, in my book.

However, I realized recently that I was getting awful close to that "feeling burned out" stage and spent lots of time beating MYSELF up for it. After all, it wasn't the kids' fault that they were both born while Parker and I were finishing school. Nor was it my practically perfect husband's fault because he is constantly encouraging me to do things for myself, things that will help me feel good about me. Okay, so it must be my own fault for feeling guilty all the time that I'm not fulfilling my role as wife and mother the way I picture in my mind that I should be. In addition, it seems like oftentimes when we visit with certain family members, they have a way of reminding me of and criticizing me for the exact things that I have been wrestling with inside myself... it doesn't help! Now what? What can I do?

Don't fall out of your chair, but to my recollection until last month, I had left my kids and husband to do something "for me" 3 times in 4 years of marriage. I shared this with a couple friends of mine lately (as we were completing my "3rd" outing without my loving family) and I could almost taste and feel her pity on me. It never dawned on me that this was not normal. I've never been one to care about trends or focus too much on what other people thought of me... except that I finally realized: I am a BETTER wife and mother when I take a little time for me every once in a while. Not necessarily even once a week, but every now and then. I have another outlet to develop my own talents so that I feel GREAT about myself and have a boost and re-charge in order to be the absolute BEST mom and BEST wife. The rest of you probably figured this out a long time ago. It's taken me a while, I know. You're probably saying to yourself, DUH! Well, I'm slow. During school, I was so tired and trying to just keep up with everything... I felt like I was already taking plenty of time away from Jackson (and eventually Kate when she came along) that I couldn't find it in me to justify leaving him/them for any additional time. I even had a hard time sacrificing to go to the temple for this exact reason (although there were others as well... including the time and money factors).
So, I got my postcard notification/reminder in the mail for Time Out For Women a while back and decided that even if I ended up going by myself, I really NEEDED to go. Growing up I THRIVED on Youth Conference, Girls' Camp, Especially For Youth, and other events that strengthened my testimony and helped remind me that my Heavenly Father loves me, so much so that He allowed His Only Begotten Son to perform the Ultimate Sacrifice... all so that my sins and imperfections and sorrows and heartaches would be covered and after all that I could give (which would never be enough), Christ's Sacrifice would make up the difference and I could live with them again. It's an incredible thought. It gives me hope and peace, even when some days are not easy. BUT, I need those reminders.
This event was like EFY for big people. It was awesome! And I didn't go alone. A friend of mine came with me (luckily, because she had kleenex and I did not that first day; I was better prepared for Saturday's line up). I have never really considered myself a "crier", so I'm blaming the semi-constant tears on the level of need that I had for this rejuvenation. I had let too many things go and listened to too many people be critical of me as a wife and a mother and was WAY OVERDUE for the messages that were delivered by the speakers and artists. The line up was awesome, but I don't really think it would have mattered. Most of the people, I had only barely heard of. I know that the Spirit was there and I was ready to take it all in and that's what made it such a great experience. Heavenly Father is more aware than I will probably ever realize of WHO I am, my POTENTIAL as a wife, mother, daughter and future queen.

It was so nice to be able to talk with Erica (my friend) about the talks and songs and experiences that were shared, as we related the messages to our own lives right now. In so many ways, she and I have lived similar lives. We have very similar background stories, our children are the same gender and close in age, and have husbands who are so devoted and give 110% all the time, which is especially important considering our backgrounds.

[Kylee--I thought about you consistently through the whole thing and WISHED desperately that I would have thought to invite you along. You would have absolutely LOVED it! It was impossible to walk away not feeling completely loved and validated by God and by our Savior. Next year, you'll have to see if you can work it in to come over for the weekend and come with me... it's going to be in November and it's in Boise. We'll have to talk about it.]

I would love to share my notes... maybe in another post. Jackson wants me to color with him right now. Until then, I'll just say this: There is DEFINITELY a sweet assurance that comes when you know life's truths! Sweet Assurance; that was the theme this season and about sums up what I took away. I know that Heavenly Father loves me, as his daughter. I know that I can do great things, with His help. I know that no matter how imperfect I am, Christ will always be able to make up the difference if I devote all of myself to Him and His teachings. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan especially designed for me. I know that They KNOW what I experience in this life; every joy, every disappointment, every shortcoming, every insecurity and even still LOVE ME. I know that I will be able to be with my family FOREVER. I love my husband and children with a love that is truly indescribible. And I can't think of anything that matches the SWEET ASSURANCE that these truths bring to me.

Jackson's busy helping

Jackson was a good little helper. He likes to help with EVERYTHING (even if you don't need/want help). I'm sure you know what I mean if you've ever had or spent time with a 2 year old. This was a project he COULD help with though and took it very seriously.
Who doesn't need a break now and then?
(In case you're wondering, these go around "baby trees" to protect them until they're bigger and stronger... sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.)

And that's the incredible guy I get to spend all of eternity with... it's a pretty sweet deal!

camping trip

Parker and I decided some time ago that we wanted to go camping over Labor Day weekend. There are a few benefits to working for the government and one of them is definitely lots of paid national holidays (including Labor Day). Basically, any time you don't get your mail, Parker is getting paid to hang out with us! How cool is that? Anyway, we found out after we made our plans that Parker's parents were planning to be there as well. It was a fun weekend and the kids did really well. They slept awesome and had a blast running around, riding on the 4-wheelers, going fishing and eating dirt (well, okay, Kate had fun eating dirt... and whatever else she could get into her grubby little hands).
Here are Parker and Jackson fishing in the little pond.

Jackson thought he was so big reeling the fish in (or weed from the bottom).
Kate did a good job keeping herself busy watching the boys and exploring all of the things offered in the outdoor buffet (aka plants, weeds, dirt, cow poop, etc)
Does she look big to you, or is it just my imagination?
I caught her at a funny time with this picture, but she kept turning around and making cute little faces at me.


Trying out Grandpa's pole to see if they could find more luck than they were having with Jackson's. (Apparently, now that Jackson has fished with this pole, 5 generations of 1st sons have officially fished with it... that's an old pole!)
I wish I had turned my video on for this. The fish was understandably opening and closing its mouth and Jackson was talking to it.
Kate wearing Jackson's cowboy hat. It's way too small for him (meaning it now fits HER perfectly), but when he and I were packing his things for this weekend, he told me he would need it to go fishing. Weird. He remembered though. "Mom, I need my fishing hat," he informed me very seriously just before we rode down to the pond.
She makes a cute little cowgirl, though!
Another one!
The official "Look, Mom! I caught a fish!" picture
I planned to layer Kate as much as possible, knowing full well that this little girl DOES NOT like to sleep with anything on top of her. It got pretty cold, so I got up a couple of times each night to put the blankets back on her. Other than her nose, she actually stayed pretty warm for the most part. What a sweet girl!

pool party with friends

Neither Parker nor I ever imagined that we would live in Idaho for various reasons. However, we have some pretty incredible friends here, have a great church family, and Parker has a good job. We are all thriving and feel like we have found success in every area of our lives; we know this is a huge blessing!
Cash & Jackson playing with the squirt guns
Lizzy, Vanna, Kate (that's a 2T swimsuit... she just turned 1...) Rachel
Ryan, Lizzy, Vanna, Kate (climbing out of the pool), Jackson & Cash
It was so much fun to walk over to the Bazil's house and be able to let the kids just play. I have loved having Erica and Ann so close by to call for advice or to get our kids together to play. Thanks for hosting, Erica & Ty! And thank you for sunscreening my kids, Ann!

So much fun and so blessed!!

Enthusiasm = our Baby Kate She is so much fun and such a beautiful little girl! Kate loves everyone and lets them know without hesitation. She has a talent for making people feel loved. We just love this about her!
This is the little kitchen we got for her 1st birthday. Probably a splurge, but I really wanted to get it for Jackson's 2nd birthday. Parker decided it was more appropriate to get a boy a tool bench. Obviously, I consented, but the kitchen was still in the back of my mind. They both LOVE the kitchen! I have to remind Jackson (almost daily) that the kitchen is Kate's and he needs to share... he thinks the kitchen is not big enough for both of them sometimes, imagine that?!
It's amazing to me how fast Kate is growing. These little 18 month clothes are on the small side, but I'm trying to get them to last us through the warm season, so I don't have to buy 24-month summer clothes AND fall/winter clothes. It's so hard to judge their growth spurts sometimes!

I don't think it's fair that Parker has to go to work everyday and miss out on all the fun we have during the day, but someone's got to do it! Jackson & Kate are at such fun ages/stages right now and really are best friends. Sure, they love to tease each other (and it's pretty equal, believe it or not... Kate can hold her own!), but they love each other so much. The three of us have so much fun during the day playing and laughing. Parker and I are glad they are so close in age because it didn't take long for Jackson to have a playmate and they do SO well together! It has been so much fun to step back as parents and see the amazing dynamics of our family and look forward to this as our family continues to grow!! We are SO blessed!
Our morning routine... 2 kids + milk = happy (ness)

Playing with Kate's new toys